Jackie Stewart
       

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Glaswegian Female Insults

  1. She had a fanny like a stab wound in a gorilla's back
  2. Look's like she's been dooking for apples in a chip pan
  3. Had more hands up her than sooty!
  4. She's got a face like a dog lickin pish off a nettle.
  5. It looks like she's been set on fire and put out with a golf shoe!
  6. She's got a face that could make an onion cry.
  7. I wouldn't ride her into battle.
  8. Everyone has a right to be ugly, but she abuses the privilege
  9. I wouldnt do her with a rusty pole
  10. Mair chins than a chinese phone book
  11. She smells like an alkies carpet
  12. She has seen more japseyes than an oriental optician
  13. It's like shagin a pail of water.
  14. It's like shagin the sleeve off a wizards cloak!
  15. She's killed more cocks than a fowl butcher
  16. Fanny like a ripped out fireplace
  17. Face like a sand blasted tomato
  18. Arse like a bag of washing
  19. She sweats like a dog in a Chinese restaurant
  20. She's seen more helmets than Hitler
  21. Face like a stuntman's knee
  22. She's got a fanny like a badly packed kebab
  23. Like opening the window and shaging the night
  24. She's seen more cockends than weekends
  25. A left her with a face like a painter's radio
  26. Fanny like a clowns pocket
  27. Fanny like a Hippo's yawn
  28. She's that ugly not even a sniper would take her out
  29. I bet she's got a fanny like a pub carpet
  30. More pricks than a second hand dartboard.
  31. Face like a blind joiners thumb
  32. She’s done more lengths than Duncan Goodhew
  33. She's been shot over more times than Sarajevo
  34. Even the tide wouldn't take her out
  35. Got more finger prints on her than Scotland Yard
  36. Handled more balls than Dino Zoff
  37. Pish flaps like John Waynes saddle bags
  38. She had a pair of flaps on her like a gutted trout
  39. A cunt like a burst couch
  40. A face like she's been ram raiding on scooters
  41. She's had more seamen than Saltcoats
  42. Shes seen more stiffs than Quincy!
  43. Shes seen more cokes than a bottle of bacardi!
  44. Cocked more times than Elmer Fudds shotgun