How To Be Politically Correct

How To Speak About Women and Be Politically Correct

• She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED CITIZEN
• She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE
• She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY
• She has not BEEN AROUND - She is A PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION
• She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
• She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
• She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
• She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
• She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
• She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
• She does not have PREMIER LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
• She is not a TWO-BIT SLAPPER - She is a LOW COST SERVICE PROVIDER.

How To Speak About Men and Be Politically Correct

• He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
• He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
• He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
• He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
• He's not a CRADLE SNATCHER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.
• He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
• He does not act like a TOTAL ARSE - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
• He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.
• He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.