Pregnancy, Oestrogen and Women
Pregnancy Q & A & more!
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck,
right after he finishes university.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A:
Childbirth.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's
borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?
Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labour, but
pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be
called an air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out
you're pregnant.
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in
labour?
A: Not unless the word "divorce" means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A:
Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's nappy
very quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act
normal again?
A: When the kids are in university.
"OESTROGEN ISSUES" 10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "OESTROGEN ISSUES"
- Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
- You're adding chocolate to your cheese omelet.
- The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
- Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
- You're using your mobile phone to dial up every car sticker that says:
"How's my driving-call 0800-".
- Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
- Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space".
- You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.
- You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
- The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday..
TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
- Cats' facial expressions.
- The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
- Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds
- Fat clothes.
- Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time
- The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell
- Cutting your hair to make it grow
- Eyelash curlers
- The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
- OTHER WOMEN
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Stewart