Why is a pussy like a toilet seat?
They both feel good, but make you
wonder who was there before you
What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
You can
unscrew a lightbulb
What's the cleverest thing ever to come out of a womans mouth?
Einstein's
cock
Why do women have periods?
Because they deserve them
What's the best thing about a blow job?
10 minutes silence
Why do women skydivers wear tampons?
So they don't whistle on the way down
What do you call a useless piece of skin around the pussy?
A woman
If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag you, what have you done
wrong?
Made her chain too long
Why did the women cross the road?
Who cares? But what's the bitch doing
out of the kitchen
Why are hurricanes named after women?
When they come they are wet and
warm, when they go they take your house and car with them
What's the difference between your wife and your job?
After five years
your job will still suck
Why did the army send so many women with PMT to fight inthe Gulf?
They
fought like animals and retained water for four days
Why is a woman like a laxative?
They both irritate the shit out of you
What's worse than a male chauvanistic pig?
A woman who won't do what she's
told
What are three reasons why anal sex is beter than vaginal sex?
It's
tighter, it feels good, and it's more degrading to women
What's the bad thing about the 69 position?
The view
What's the difference between your paycheque and your dick?
You don't have
to ask for a woman to blow your paycheque
What's the most active muscle in a female body?
A penis
Why do women have tits?
So men will talk to them
What are the small bumps around a womans nipples?
It's Braille for "Suck
Here"
Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than to improve
their minds?
Because some men may be stupid, but not many are blind
How do you stop a woman giving you a blow-job?
Marry Her
Why do most men die before their wives?
Because they want to
What's the difference between a woman with PMT and a pitbull?
Lipstick
Why can't you trust a woman?
How can you trust anything that bleeds for
five days and doesn't die
Why did god create man first?
He didn't want a woman looking over his
shoulder and criticisng
Why do some women fake orgasms?
Because they think we care
How many men does it take to clean the toilet?
None, it's a womens job
Why are women like carpets?
If you lay them properly the first time, you
can walk all over them for years
Why do woman rub their eyes when they wake up?
Because they haven't got
any balls to scratch
Which part of a womens body do they enjoy being stroked
best?
Who cares