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Jackie
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Tae A FertyOh what a sleekit horrrible beastie, Lurks in yer bellie efter the feastie Just as ye sit doon among your kin, There sterts tae stir an enormous wind The neeps and tatties and mushy peas, Sterts working like a gentle breeze But soon the puddin wi the saucie face, Will hae ye blowin all oer the place Nae mater wit the hell ye dae, Abodys gonna hae tae pay Even if ye try tae stifle, Its like a bullet oot a rifle Hawd yer bum tight tae yer chair, Tae try and stop the reekin air Shifty yersel fae cheek tae cheek, Pray tae god is disnae reek But aw yer efforts go asunder, Oot it comes like a clap of thunder Ricochets aroon the room, Michty me a sonic boom God almighty it fairly reeks, Hope a huvnae shit ma breeks Ta te bog I bettr scurry, Aw whit the hell its no ma worry Abody roon aboot be chokin, Wan ot two are nearly bokin I'll feel bettre for a while, Cannae help bt raise a smile Wis it him? I shout wi accusin glower, Alas too late he's just keeled ower Ya dirty wee bugger they shout and stare, A dinnae feel welcome any mair Where ere ye go let yer wind gan free, Souns like jist the job fir me Whit a fuss at Rabbie's perty, Oer the sake o wan wee ferty |