Oh what a sleekit horrrible beastie, Lurks in yer bellie efter the feastie
Just as ye sit doon among your kin, There sterts tae stir an enormous wind
The neeps and tatties and mushy peas, Sterts working like a gentle breeze
But soon the puddin wi the saucie face, Will hae ye blowin all oer the place
Nae mater wit the hell ye dae, Abodys gonna hae tae pay
Even if ye try tae stifle, Its like a bullet oot a rifle
Hawd yer bum tight tae yer chair, Tae try and stop the reekin air
Shifty yersel fae cheek tae cheek, Pray tae god is disnae reek
But aw yer efforts go asunder, Oot it comes like a clap of thunder
Ricochets aroon the room, Michty me a sonic boom
God almighty it fairly reeks, Hope a huvnae shit ma breeks
Ta te bog I bettr scurry, Aw whit the hell its no ma worry
Abody roon aboot be chokin, Wan ot two are nearly bokin
I'll feel bettre for a while, Cannae help bt raise a smile
Wis it him? I shout wi accusin glower, Alas too late he's just keeled ower
Ya dirty wee bugger they shout and stare, A dinnae feel welcome any mair
Where ere ye go let yer wind gan free, Souns like jist the job fir me
Whit a fuss at Rabbie's perty, Oer the sake o wan wee ferty